confession in return part I

and i talked to my Dad,
I need to sort out my life from confusions.
he listened, he gave me enlightenment.
I need to rebuild my life.
I was feeling..

old.

I’m not that strong, you know
sometimes i had bad dreams and it’d affect my day
i hate that when it happened.
i will always be thankful,
i still got the chance to recognize [...]

They Say: Yes, Only Love Can Break Your Heart

When you were young
and on your own
How did it feel
to be alone?
I was always thinking
of games that I was playing.
Trying to make
the best of my time.

But only love
can break your heart
Try to be sure
right from the start
Yes only love
can break your heart
What if your world
should fall apart?

I have a friend
I’ve never seen
He hides his head
inside [...]

A Lift

Love is when you lift ones you love

Kejujuranmu Memilukan Hati

Just a title and I’ll write later.

MAD

It’s insatiable.
Me.
I’m mostly addressed to disobedient kind of behavior.
It’s drinking thing.
It’s cutting my left arm and carving a name of SILENCE.
SILENCE it is.

I am sinking.
I got thrashes everywhere in my life that everybody cares to touch but me.
I don’t even give a damn.

What time do I have to wake up every morning?
Is [...]

Updated notes for Oktober 10th

aku kangen kamu,
sekarang..
km bilang aku ngga boleh nyesel dan nangis.
aku pengen kamu tau, aku ngga nyesel,
aku cuma lagi mellow.
dan maaf kalo aku dulu sering blg km ngga boleh nangis.
-perfect and pervert.

P U T A R

maaf,
aku terpaut dalam ketidaktahuan diri akan suatu permintaan yang berbicara lebih dari sekedarnya
dillema,
dihajar ketentuan-ketentuan norma, otokratis tak tolerir terbina oleh kuasa manusia
kilas khatulistiwa di depan mata, terbaur dengan unsur-unsur surga yang kiranya bicara tentang hari-hari fana yang masih harus terpijak saat ini
membentuk deret cerita, mengutip waktu dan menentukan warna nafasku, nafas kita
adalah air asalnya,
ketika ku [...]

Lamunan 11 Malam

hati ini terlalu gelisah,
resah dibawa lamunan yang bersemayam dan tenggelam jauh di tempat kita bersandar dahulu
ingin sekali aku merengkuh,
berteriak dan menangis sekeras-kerasnya untuk sebuah tangisan nyata,
bahwa kau masih ada di sana untukku
kutahu sebuah ketakmungkinan ayal hadir dengan pesimisme-pesimisme sampah yang dulu pernah menjadi sebuah kehidupan bagi kita untuk tertawa, menangis dan berbahagia
disetiap batas imajinasiku,
kentara berdiri [...]

It has to go astray, “A part of me”

“A part of me” now has to swathe the story
In a fine, lovely, delicate brown box and red ribbon attached on it
Placed under the exquisite lamp on a flat black table
I still remember our conversation
A very impulsive, bitter conversation
About what we want and what we need
There is me who always being an appreciator to perform [...]

breathe in colors

and now i am expressing a bit of my life by a poetry,

i was falling into your deepest hug, deepest part of the world that i would run into
you showed me how much you loved me with your lips and arms,
i could feel every beat of yours to me when i open my eyes,
when it [...]